There was a time you’d ask, ‘What’s the best bus to use on a journey to Mombasa?’ Mostly, I’d hear ‘Coast Bus’. The bus service has been around for ages and is a trusted brand. But it no longer is what it used to be. Just this month, I made a decision never to use Coast Bus Services ever again. Why?

The bus I took was supposed to leave Nairobi at 1 O’clock. We were kept waiting until 3 O’clock with no explanation>>until a few minutes to 3 O’clock when the service (via their load-speaker) announced that the bus was on the way and had ‘only been held back by traffic’

On the road

Then 20 minutes into the journey, at Bunyala Road, Nairobi, the same bus broke-down and we had to wait  for another  one hour for a rescue bus to show-up. The bus attendant was however quick to calm us down with snacks, drinks and funny stories. Being all those hours late, the bus definitely sped-up so we’d reach the coast before midnight instead of 9 pm.

Fun Highlight                                                                                                                                  

In the same bus was popular local musician Ken Wa Maria. With all the kambas on Mombasa Road, the humble guy (who I was seeing ‘live-live’ for the first time) had plenty of fans screaming his name and jumping about to get his attention during all the stops we made.

The trip back on Dream Line

My trip back had to be in a different bus, so I asked my host to make a choice for me. It was Dream Line….and I liked it! Their waiting area, customer service and the bus itself-especially the tinted windows that kept away the very bright light. On top of that, we departed right on time (around 10 a.m).

We were also thoroughly entertained, thanks to a large screen behind the driver’s seat showing  local and international short funny video clips. XYZ Show, Bull’s Eye (NTV ), Swaleh Mdoe’s ‘Tafakari ya babu’ (Citizen TV), Kukanganyana (NTV) and those funny short clips of kids in accidents were just some of them.

BONUS: It’s always more funny when you see someone you know in such clips. Yes you>>>  Hot 96 Breakfast Show host Cindy Ogana on Kukanganyana doing those tongue-twisters.

Hearing people all giggling along at the same time was wickedest!

Go Dream Line!…..and get a few more video clips for the long hours. Ohhh! And ….Advertising/ publicity opportunity right here folks.

Author: Kate Allen

Genre: Crime Fiction

As with most crime fiction mystery novels, ‘Tell me what you like’ is a hard book to put down. The first in Kate Allen’s Alison Kaine mystery series, she manages to capture and keep first time readers with her well-developed believable characters, humorous dialogue and fast-paced plot.

tell me what you like

Alison Kaine is a police officer who is supposed to be on vacation. Her plans to be out of town during this time are cancelled and she ends up at the park to pass time. There she meets Stacy, who plays as a goalkeeper in the lesbian soccer team. Alison and Stacy hit it off until Alison discovers Stacy makes a living as a dominatrix giving women their S & M fantasies. The mystery centers around the everyday lives of these lesbian women in a community where religious fundamentalists appear at every corner , even in the lesbian night clubs, to ‘straighten’ them out with the word of God.

In the backdrop of Alison’s new relationship, two lesbians are murdered in cold-blood. Once a cop, always a cop, they say and Alison Kaine pokes her nose into the mysterious murders time and again, pissing-off the male-officers officially on the case. Inspite of warnings to keep off the case, she  dives deeper into the detective work as she strongly believes that (being in this community) she has better chances of solving the murder. This she does with the help of her fellow lesbian neighbours Michelle and Janka who do some undercover work. The author manages to keep you going over the suspects subconsciously trying to figure out who the murderer might be.

Stacy, the detectives’ own lover tops the suspects’ lists, along with Dominique,  also a dominatrix. Both of the dead women were clients of Dominique. Carla, who Alison saves after an attack, is the only mystery because there’s just no motive or link; until she realizes  it was her (Alison) the murderer was after. The only reason she wasn’t attacked was because they’d exchanged sweaters in the basement while having a quickie with her earlier on.

The murderer is brought to light in slow bits. It could be the young Mark, a friend of Stacy’s. Mark, who  was brought up by four lesbian women until his birth mother came to reclaim him. He is the kind of man who takes matters into his own hands..

At the end of the day, we find out that it is the religious fundamentalists, whom Mark is a part of, that commit the crime. In addition to the mysterys’ exciting, informing and witty combination, erotica lovers will love the explicit sex-bits which left me squirming in my seat.

karate is great!

Beginnings

It’s been two weeks now since I began karate classes. Each of us gets into martial arts for different reasons. Mine? Being a fitness enthusiast, I wanted to push my body further, to test myself. Now, I’m in love……

A certain Sensei once said that ‘Karate is about discipline and the first discipline is showing up for class.’ I haven’t missed a class yet. Only thing missing is my ‘gi’-I don’t have a karate uniform yet, but I’m saving up.

Classes and fellow karatekas

I met two lovely karatekas at Sensei Caleb Atemi’s class. (Mr. Atemi is also the chairman of the Kenya Karate Federation). Sylvia aka Sly and Grace aka Tatiana are their names.

Sometimes, when our Sensei is out of town or a training room is unavailable, we attend Sensei Bon Owiti’s class. (Bon is the National Karate coach, a splendid technique teacher, if I may add).

Here, I additionally met other karatekas; the female ones (I bonded with) being Flozzie and K.C. who I get down to knowing as we trek from class to town after class.

The five of us recently hang-out at Uhuru Park, Nairobi (it’s on the way to Bon’s class) and bonded like cream and nuts. Ofcourse I had to ask questions, and here’s more on them….

from left: Flozzie, Sly, Tatiana & K.C

Sly…. Is a writer/author whose Sensei  is Mr. Atemi. She started Karate five months ago and already has a yellow belt.  “I love the discipline and the fact that I can use Karate for self-defence (I’m no longer scared when provoked). I also like the fitness bit as it leaves me feeling light on my feet,” she said.

Besides Karate, Sly enjoys writing, music, travelling and sex.

Tatiana…..Cleared high school last year (2010). She is currently helping with the family business, but is planning on studying  Fashion Design in 2012. She started Karate classes when she was in Form 2 (2008). Her  Sensei was Mr. Murimi, a business teacher and counselor at All Saints Academy, Sagana. Her current Sensei is Mr. Atemi. Besides Karate, she enjoys dancing and designing cards. Tatiana will also appear in an upcoming Nimechill advert doing some katas. Anasema amechill, for real. Kiai!!!

K.C………A Form Three student at All Saints Academy, Sagana, K.C. got into serious karate last year (Form 2). Her Sensei is also Mr. Murimi.  “I love Karate because it is fun and I truly enjoy it,” she said.

Besides karate, she enjoys art, drama and dancing.

showing us how

Flozzie….Cleared Form 4 last year (2010) and is planning to study B.Com (Finance) at the University of Nairobi  in 2012. She started Karate classes in 2009 (Form 3). Her Sensi then was Mr. Murimi of All Saints. Today, it is Sensei Bon Owiti. “What I love about Karate is that it can be used both for fitness and for self-defence,” she explained.

Besides Karate, Flozzie loves listening to music, playing phone and card games and chatting on the phone.

I’m the only beginner in my class, but these four young ones are a blessing; inspiring and encouraging along the way.

I know the week isn’t over yet, but this was the highlight of my week.

On Tuesday evening, I attended Internews Network’s  StoryFest  2011 at their I & M building in Nairobi. The awards celebrate local storytellers, specifically journalists.

Internews Network is in the business of empowering local media worldwide and currently works in Africa, Asia, Europe, North America and Middle East. Some of its activities involve training  journalists in investigative journalism. “It is in the business of making better storytellers,” as Ernest Waititu said at the awards ceremony. The StoryFest 2011 is their very first media awards event but they plan on making it an annual event.

I loved how….

• I loved how MC Bonnie Odinga did his thing, throwing in words of wisdom and humour  that was just right for those in the industry.
• Dressed in black and gold, entertainer/ comedian Eric Omondi got me cracking up as he made fun of reporters  and their ways. “Not many of you know that I studied journalism at Daystar University. But after I began appearing on Churchill Live, I realized no one could take me seriously ,” he mentioned.
• Listening to and later talking to the Chief Guest Peter Kimani . Mr. Kimani is a poet, journalist and a PhD candidate at University of Houston (Creative Writing). Hence he was the right person to discuss my battles with life as a poet and journalist.
• Watching, reading and listening to clips of the winning entries. I especially loved an FGM story (see TV Category) done in Merti, Isiolo  and another one on climate change conflicts in North Kenya and neighbouring Ethiopia. The latter was done in Kenya & Ethiopia but by an international journalist and was only shared to inspire us to better (and more creatively) package our stories.
• The give-aways on the way out. I’m glad I stayed through to the end of the event.

The winners…..

• Highest number of stories-Violet Otiondo
• Online Category- Sidi  Sarro
• Radio Category- Zeinab Dinn

NB:  When doing her winning story, she was asked to pass this message to all men;  “It is also your role to take up the responsibility of family planning.”

• Print Category-Dann Okoth

NB: He says he is inspired by the need to ‘inform policy that changes people’s lives especially the most vulnerable.’

• TV Category-Irene Choge

NB:  Irene was limping from an injury obtained on her last assignment.

• Overall winner/ Storytellers of the year –Dann Okoth (Print Category).

His winning entry was a story on ‘Where childbirth is condemning women to an early grave’.

SAYING OF THE EVENING:

A good journalist sees what everyone sees, but thinks what no one else does…’-the MC.

Satuarday (13-11-2010) saw me at Logos Christian School along Arboretum Drive, Nairobi by 9.00 a.m. I was ready to spend sometime with award-winning Sunflower Kids Club, the point being to understand exactly how the kids’ talents are nurtured.

The club, an arm of Balozi Productions Limited (an events management and marketing company) was established in 2004 to cater for talented boys and girls between ages 7 and 12. Club members meet every Satuarday at Logos Christian School from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. for training and rehearsals. Members, through their parents or guardians, pay a fixed amount per term to facilitate this.

Based on a Christian foundation, it is no wonder that the bible study class is the very first activity that takes place every Satuarday. Other activities include drama and performing arts like poetry, dancing, singing and acrobatics.

In the bible study class, the teacher, Cindy, picked out a passage from the bible which she discussed with the kids for proper understanding and interpretation. Thereafter, she handed them a word-search activity (based on the passage for the day) which they had to complete before the end of the one hour class. The kids are also assigned a bible verse to memorize at home.

The next class was the acrobatics class, which I found rather intriguing. Their teacher, Dickson, did a great job trying to handle movement, coordination and safety of over ten kids all by himself. Seeing these kids doing those jumps, balances, stretches and remembering the moves left me feeling challenged and wondering, ‘Can I even do this?’

The Sunflower Kids acrobatics class

Seeing how this acrobatics class related to the bible-study one enhanced my understanding of the whole Christian foundation vision; in bible study, they are taught about the ‘cookie-crumbling’ whereby the virtue of hardwork and discipline is taught using bible verses and stories. Cindy, the bible study teacher, did pass by the class and reminded them about letting the ‘cookie crumble’ on noticing that some of them were getting distracted. Yes, these kinds of activities call for total-attention, something that is well-developed here (taking into consideration kids attention-spans).

While the acrobatics class was going on, there was also a singing class led by Colloe.

some of Sunflower Kids Club at Singing class

Colloe, who also sings in a choir, gave the kids lyrics to a new song they were learning and divided them into two groups for voice variation. They also discussed and settled-on the most ideal weekend (for all) to record some songs in the studio.

The next classes were poetry class and dance class which were going on simultaneously. At the poetry class, each of the young poets performed (with words and action) one piece each. Their teacher, Sarah, would then correct them and direct them on how to enhance each of their performances. They also had a piece they plan on performing together (like a choral-verse).

For those who prefer dance to poetry, the dance class by Dan was the place to get hyper-active. I loved watching how the kids interpreted the African dance moves. I was later informed that all of these projects lead to Sunflower Kids Club actual performances on stages/venues around the country-giving them the much needed professional stage to learn and grow.

What I loved about each of these classes is that they all were very interactive, allowing the kids to give their own opinions of certain moves and words. Friendship and values of teamwork are also cultivated in clubs like these. But the over-riding idea of nurturing kids talent from a young age is what we need more of.

Some of the clubs’ achievements include ‘The best children’s song of the year award’ at the Groove Awards 2008, rave reviews of their musical play ‘The Sunflower, the spider and the baby’ performed at the Kenya National Theatre in April 2007. The club also has an album to its name, ‘Mwanga’ which was launched in February 2006. They have also presented the play ’The Sunflower who couldn’t find the sun’ at the Village Market in December 2004.

No dinner for sinners

Title: No dinner for sinners; a hilarous comedy

Theatre Group: Festival For Creative Arts

Director: Mbeki Mwalimu

Producer: Abuto Eliud

Venue: Kenya National Theatre

Dates: 29-10-10 to 31-10-10

Cast: Derrick Amunga plays Jim, Ciku Mburu is Edna the cleaning lady Hellena Waithera is Helen, Veronica Waceka & Juma williams are the Nxumas and Ummul Rajab plays Terri, Jim’s secretary.

The Plot

No dinner for sinners is a play about Jim, a manager at an investment company. Jim is hosting one of the big bosses from South Africa William Nxuma and his wife Nancy at his Nairobi flat. The thing is, Mr. Nxuma is the kind of man who believes in high morals; word is that he recently fired a fellow employee for having a live-in girlfriend. Jim assumes that his  live-in girlfriend and model Helen, will pose as his wife. However, they have a major argument at breakfast and Helen walks out on him, for good-she says.

Jim needs to keep his job hence he must find a wife for dinner. He frantically begins to call up his old girlfriends, but all of them are unavailable. Terri, his devoted secretary (and an aspiring actress) passes by his house so he can sign some documents. Terri is so into Jim and would do anything for him. Jim takes this opportunity to ask her to ‘act’ as his wife. She agrees, well- until she remembers she has a dress rehearsal in the evening.

Having ran out of options, Jim hires Edna, the cleaning lady even though he is not quite sure whether they’ll be convincing enough as a couple. The Nxumas make it to his flat and soon drama begins to unfold right under their noses. All the three ladies who Jim had asked to be his wife changed their minds and turn up at his flat around the same time. How does he handle the situation?

The Characters

The play opens with Jim and Helen having breakfast and then having an argument that sees Helen move-out. At one point, I was beginning to wonder whether this really was a comedy. All this changed when Edna, played by Ciku Mburu, came into the picture. I could hear and feel the difference with the audience too. With a very heavy ‘local accent’, Edna was the most beloved of the characters. She was indeed funny in a way most Kenyans would relate to-what with her hair, outfit and language. Her hair looked like an old-fashioned not-very-well-done Afro and she was wearing a sundress and (take this….) multi-coloured socks. That really cracked us up! She’d even respond in those ukuyo-like ways ‘Eeh!!’.I recall this comment she made to Jim on having to act as his wife, “If we are going to act married, you’ll have to learn to do what I say.” A comment that led to a discussion with friends later which I hereby conclude, ‘The wife really is the ‘boss’ of the home’.

Derrick Amunga, Juma Williams & Veronica Waceke were also in character, so was Ummul Rajab (who was recently crowned Best Supporting Actress at Kalasha Awards for her part in Ndoto za Elibidi). Ummul plays Terri, a very bubbly character who brings out her attraction to her boss in a most comical way. I think I should say here that she’s got that blend of childish yet sexy..and the eye-glasses kinds helped with the professional aspect. And the outfits those girls wore were very revealing- not that we minded. Some of us are hot legs and butt visual seekers…hahaha!!

The Moments

Some of the most memorable (and catchy moments) from the play include

-Edna appearing in the sundress, coloured socks and weird hairstyle thinking that she looks like a ‘million-dollars!’

-Its interesting how Terri talks about ‘The naked dance’, a play  she’s part of.

-Terry suddenly appearing and announcing her love for Jim as he’s trying to explain why there are two ‘wives’ in his house. Worsening his already tarnished reputation.

-Edna going all out and deep into religious talk with Nxuma as Jim stares in horror.

-Helen hiding behind the sofa half-clothed and Jim having to say that she was the cleaning lady.

-The sound effect (of something exploding) at the end of the play. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who was caught off-guard by that heavy sound signifying the reality of Murphy’s Law; everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

In Conclusion

For me, this play was proof of how we put ourselves into murky situations we’d have avoided in the first place. If you’ve got proverbial liars for friends, make sure they watch this the next time it shows. I however feel that if the characters got to use wittier remarks (with a local touch I must insist)  we would truly have applauded FCA for making it the comedy its supposed to be. But sadly, its not. I mean, if the audience is only laughing at Edna’s remarks and situations, what would you say?

I also felt that the sofas/ furniture (provided by Odds & Ends) was a bit restrictive. I’d have loved to see the movements and the socks more. As in, a lot of action was going on behind the sofas. Maybe opt for furniture a bit less bulky/ big so the audience can see more?

That aside, No dinner by sinners by FCA is a very entertaining play that’s worthy of your time!

Just my views……………………….

Gregory Isaacs

For most of us, the ‘passing-on’ of legendary reggae artist Gregory ‘Cool Ruler’ Isaacs early this week came as a shocker. Yes, we heard about the drug addiction, early firearm charges, cancer tena refusing treatment aiiieei!!!, but what was most important, what we could do something about was his music.

Some of the Cool Ruler’s classics were Night Nurse, Rumours, Hard Drugs and Tune-in-kwanza Night Nurse kama hukusikia enyewe una dunia yako.

Dj Ras Luigi of One Love on Capital FM (Sunday 5 p.m. -7 p.m.) reflects on the roots reggae singer.

He mentions that  since he started doing the show (One Love) back in 2004, no show would ever be complete without a song by Gregory Isaacs’ or Don Carlos. “These two artists are the most requested on the show,” he explains.

So, how exactly does his death affect him as a DJ?

“Well, a hero has left us but the most important thing is that his music (and spirit) will live. But let me tell you, as long as I am a Dj, my mixes will never be complete without his songs,” he swears.

This Sunday (31-10-2010) is going to be a Gregory Isaacs Special. “I’m going to play 20 minutes of his music non-stop. The Cool Ruler’s fans will never forget this show,” he promises. Having so many albums to his name, its possible to play him for like three hours non-stop.

Dj Ras Luigi-One Love

Luigi says he was ‘born’ listening to Gregory. “What I love about his music is that its ‘real’-at that time as it is today. He was one of a kind,” he adds.

The DJ recalls watching the ‘Cool Ruler’ perform live for the first time when he came to Kenya in early 2000. And he’s sad that he will never have another chance of watching him perform live again.

On being a ‘Cool Ruler’, Luigi believes the name came about because of his music (and voice) ability to change the atmosphere. “His music cooled people down and strongly impacted society. He was all about love,” he recalls.

A reggae artist himself, Ras Luigi advises young (upcoming) reggae artists to listen to his music as they grow. “When you listen to him, you realize that reggae is not just putting lyrics together, its more than that,” he concludes.

R.I.P. Cool Ruler

Awesome Night, Morning Glory

Friday evening. Was supposed to meet up Casey and go dancing. For some reason, I end up spending a laid-back evening at home, prepared a vegan meal ‘spiked’ with all things super and lethal, a very cool charming person; all the while sampling Stan’s Kenya Debut Album. The night was awesome, morning glory even better.

My first live match

Satuarday 4 p.m. Went to watch the Kenya (Harambee Stars) vs Uganda (Uganda Cranes) game at the Nyayo National Stadium with my gal pal. The queue was so long, we had to use our feminine charm. We ‘cut’ the line and when some people noticed, they were like, ‘Let them pass, they are just kids…’  Suprising because anyone else who was ‘cutting’ the line was being subjected to abuse by both the crowd and security at the gate. Makes sense though, my pal and I are like barely 5′ 1′, we are in our mid twenties but we do pass for high school kids.

A bunch of these four caucasians were however not so lucky. They came straight to the front to ‘cut’ the line (after bribing security) and were booed, abused and pushed around by the crowd. There was such a fiasco as everyone tried to ensure they did not get in. One of the very outspoken women was even secretly asked to shut up and she would also be let in first. She declined. I later heard that plenty of people were not able to get into the stadium and that the tickets had been sold out.

“No water bottles allowed,’ we were informed after the ticket check. So there everyone was trying to finish up their water, soda etc. For some reason, I was let in with my water bottle, my pal, who had a soda bottle wasn’t. Could it be that there’s a high possibility of people using water bottles as weapons?

Just like live music, I really enjoyed this live match. I liked the energy, especially the crowds’ >mwanzo the famous ‘wave’, and how in unison) everyone demanded for some players to play like Blackberry Odhiambo, the groundnuts kids were selling and the soccer skills some of the kids were displaying at half-time.  As for the game, I’m still very disappointed there were NO goals to write home about.

A play to laugh at myself

Sunday 3 p.m. Play at Alliance Francaise. 10 Kenyan Commandments. Promulgation reloaded.

Was once again with my gal pal. Churchill (Dan Ndambuki) and his team are just the ones! Each of those scenes were very typically Kenyan. We loved how the cast just changed on stage (dimmed lights of course). And did I mention how hilarious the narrator was. Loved how he unleashed his ‘Luo’ dance moves on stage.

A scene that caught me off guard n’ I totally loved this: The setting is a certain government office. The civil servants are huko stressing out the people as they waited to be served. One woman had had enough and she just snapped (Translated), ‘Do you think you are the only one’s who can go/act mad?’ She proceeded to demand for what she wanted and got it-leaving everyone at the scene silenced and shocked.

Every single scene did hit a chord and true; we Kenyans laugh that hard when watching such local productions because we are laughing at ourselves, because we have found ourselves in those situations.

By Eudiah Kamonjo

He speaks to me in silences that burn and stab my spirit

I battle with his mystic and crash under his revelations

I starve everyday. Waiting, longing for answers, fulfillments, A sign

I kill myself because he has snubbed me

And left me on my knees seeking his divine face

He has deserted me in this hell of a spa called life

I burn myself in heated moments of lust in the sauna

And surround myself with kings in high heels and whips

Queens with deep voices, packing plastic between their legs

Because I have fallen short of the glory

I have walked myself to accident-prone areas in stormy nights

Traveled to unknown places with no TV’s and generators that cough

Hoping to inhale eternal peace through the silent breezes

When the moon is right and couples

Facing bent-over entangled in the oceans’ dark salt

They say silence be the enemy

Yet I get my answers

When I listen

Those I have already died for

Time and time and time again

Last evening, I had a meeting with my mentor. In this regard, a mentor (to me) is someone you can just talk and share with, ask questions or get his/her opinions on a certain or variety of topics.

One of my friends thinks that having a mentor is total BS! that she has never had to talk or share or ask anybody’s opinion and has so far been successful in life. Maybe its the title ‘mentor’ that doesn’t hit the right cord. Maybe a mentor (according to her) is someone who is above you. Hell NO! For me, a mentor is your equal.

He/she could have more experience in one area and you could have more in another area. It is therefore ‘an everybody gains’ situation.

A mentorship relationship doesn’t have to be as formal as people assume. It can be as informal as the way you advise your siblings or the way you can call that one person when you need their take on something you are working on. And it comes at no cost either because even the mentor is learning a hell of a lot through sharing.

Yesterday, we (my mentor and I) just shared a meal as we talked about journalism, kids, God, marriage, writing and being Africans among other issues. And it wasn’t just one person talking, it was all of us and it was hearty, inspiring and spiritual.

I must admit that I did not agree with one or two of the things that my mentor said.

Still, the few times we meet make a huge difference in my life and I thank God that I found (early in life) someone I could share almost all aspects of my life with.

Once you’ve been mentored as easily, you’ll find yourself doing the same for others.