Be Real, Guys

Hook yourself up

By Eudiah Kamonjo 

The brothers ain’t complex, they are just perplexed and do a myriad of things that no one can rationalize’ -that is seriously what I think of our brothers. 

What I still haven’t clearly gotten is what all the hype about hooking people up is about. Check this out: Here’s a fellow brother-he’s physically okay…(am asked what that means). Well, he’s got legs, arms, can see; he can basically do everything that a human being is supposed to, not to mention he’s good looking and smart. So why then can’t he go after the lady he likes and instead comes up to you and tells you to hook him up with your friend or your friend’s friend? What’s up with our men? Have they lost their esteem? Are they feeling belittled by the equality issues that have been taking place in our society over the years? Or is it simply just easier to get hooked up than to approach someone you barely know and just introduce yourself?

It seems they just do not like challenges. How will you ever get to know her if third parties are initially involved? You want to be able to describe her to friends and family eventually, but how else will you do it if you don’t get to really know her. The only way is through your own experience with her! If you depend on the description offered by third parties, you will subconsciously use the very words they used at first.

It would be better if you got to know her yourself. Okay, am not saying you shouldn’t try and find out something about her first. No! That’s a great precaution but what if it’s in one of those annual concerts or conferences?You do not know whether she will be in the next one. Henri James once said ‘Until you try, you don’t know what you can’t do.’ Some guys believe that they look too desperate if they approach a lady they don’t know and just start off a conversation out of the blue therefore they just cannot do it.

 Others still believe in tradition and say there is a reason why suitors weren’t allowed to directly approach a lady and had to go through some third party. I know there’s all this networking which works like a piece of cake. One person introduces the other and so on; it’s just like spreading the gospel. But it should just come naturally. Maybe we all have our own ways of handling issues but I think those brothers who are asking to be hooked up instead of hooking themselves up have surely lost it! Since when did you hear a lady tell you to hook her up with your friend or your cousin?

 In the Songs of Solomon, we read in Chapter three how Solomon’s lover went to look for him in the city until she found him. Being a lady, am not supposed to walk up to a guy and say, “Hallo, my name is… and I would like to know more about you”. Am not supposed to, but I have done it and I have never been disappointed or made a wrong choice. So why can’t a man do it? Maybe the guy made a mistake, not once but plenty of times. He was probably dismissed off as a phony because he used a pick up line or something. By now am sure everyone knows that pick up lines maybe humorous but they don’t always work and so brothers would better bake their own lines.  Don’t they know that that feeling at the pit of their stomachs or at the back of their minds isn’t supposed to make them scared? The adrenaline should strengthen and push them to make that move.‘Stop doubting yourselves and give it a try,’ one of the sisters says. Which one sister wouldn’t want a man who’s brave enough to walk straight up and say hi?!!!       


One Response to “Be Real, Guys”

  1. Nairobi Living Says:

    Its not hard aproaching the object of your desire. However, in this part of the world, people tend to trust you when you are introduced by someone they trust. If I don’t know the object of my desire, I head right out… and say wsup… If I know someone she trusts, the hook up gives me an added legitimacy


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