Posts Tagged ‘Redds’

Kenyan Waiters tell shockingly hilarious jokes too

July 22, 2009

The waiter at Wine Bar just made my evening; I was meeting a friend of mine at the bar when the waiter comes to take my order. I’ve seen him before (the waiter) and he has even served me many a times. he just has never told me a joke like this one-or was it just a comment?

I ask him for a cold Redds and what does he say? “Baridi kama roho ya mzungu?” Translated: “Cold like a white man’s heart?” . I am taken a back-suprised. I think that I probably heard it all wrong, but he says it again.

I laugh- hard. It is funny, in a really bad racist way but I find myself  laughing my heart out.

He laughs with me, then goes to fetch my cold Redds, leaving my friend staring at me and wondering Wassup?

When I explain what just happened, he’s like, “There’s nothing funny about that!”

The waiter comes back and I ask him, “What’s the difference between a ‘Mzungus’ and a black man’s heart?”

He takes my hand and places it on the left side of his masculine chest. I feel his heartbeat. This is exaggerated, I think.

He just thrusted his chest out to make it seem like it was really thumping.

Of course I laugh even harder and this pisses off my friend. I try to explain the joke further but he just doesn’t get it.

The same waiter comes back  a few minutes later to ask why I wasn’t using my glass. I say that I like to drink straight from my can. He replies, “Ama labda unaona utavunja?” (Or do you think you might break it?)

“Actually, you are right. If I was holding it right now, I think I would end up doing just that.”

I laugh even more because I’m thinking, this waiter can already tell that I’m high-this might have been my first beer here but it isn’t the only one I have had all day.

If  I were a hotel/pub owner, I think I’d hire a guy with this extra skill; one capable of telling a good joke.

Get the customers coming back for more.

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